Sex should never be scheduled

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Verified by Psychology Today. Fixing Families. Spontaneous sex is viewed as the gold standard in love-making.

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As it turns out, plenty of us have a sex schedule. And it could really be a relationship saver. So why do most couples schedule in their sex lives?

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CNN Are you having enough sex? You might have wondered if you should up your bedroom activity after reading about other couples' resolutions to have sex every day or about all the health benefits of getting horizontal. Chat with us in Facebook Messenger.

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I love my husband, but when it comes to sex, he has been, and still is, a year-old boy. At first I was a willing participant, but after years of his moping, cajoling, screaming, and disrespect, I lost interest. Finally, several years ago, I decided to keep the relationship and family intact by agreeing to sex once a week.

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Real life can be busy. And with hyper-sexual images and storylines dominating shows and movies, couples often ask: Should we be having more sex? Though people are quick to compare themselves against others, there is no magic number when it comes to how often you should have sex with your partner, according to Mary Andres, a professor at the University of Southern California, and co-coordinator of marriage and family therapy program.

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This may sound unusual, but scheduling sex is truly the best way to keep the sex alive in a long-term relationship. I know, I know. Everyone essentially says the opposite and those who agree appear to have the most boring sex lives known to wo man.

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Scheduling sex is a tricky issue. I do recommend this to couples struggling with mismatched libidos read: almost all of them, after the honeymoon phasebut I myself have never done it in my own marriage, at least not explicitly. Many happy couples with very different sex drives get along fine without scheduling sex, and many unhappy couples schedule sex and remain unhappy.

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Romance novels, porn, role play, lingerie. Work, childcare, and reduced sleep are just a few things that can step on the brake, she says. Here are some techniques couples can use to get their accelerator going, according to Nagoski.

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Couples scheduling sex is nothing new. A recent study of 1, adults by Sleep Judge found that couples scheduling sex is actually quite common. According to their study,

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It sounds like an activity on a whiteboard in the home of a sad couple whose love life has all but dissipated, going through the motions because the thrill is lost. Still, no one would blame you for dreading the idea. If you have a long distance relationship, you already schedule sex.

Comments

    3 thoughts on “Sex should never be scheduled

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